Konosuba! Branching Paths!
by BargonDargon
Summary: Branching Paths! is more like a continuation of Konosuba following the adventures of our hero Kazuma as he tries to make the best of life in this wonderful world! Pretty much a harem.
1. Uh oh Where's Megumin?

**Disclaimer: Will reference some light novel stuff.**

This project is manly so I can practice writing and show my love for Konosuba.

I would say this is a slice of life but might have some plot and romance.

Other than that there's not much left to say, so hopefully you all enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Uh oh. Where's Megumin?**

It was around 10 pm and I was lounging on the couch watching the fireplace. There was no fire in it but I couldn't be bothered to go and gather tinder for a fire, so I just laid there. Staring aimlessly… bored out of my mind… just waiting in anticipation…

"KAZUMAAAA!"

Right on queue. Aqua franticly ran into the living room with tears in her eyes. I wonder what it is this time. Maybe she can't find her bottle of wine and needs my help finding it? Or maybe she wants me to read her a bedtime story? Either way it's gonna be something dumb.

"What is it?"

"KAZUMA I CAN'T FIND MEGUMIIIIN! WE WERE GOING TO PLAY CHESS AND I'VE BEEN WAITING IN MY ROOM FOR AN HOUR! AND WHEN I WENT TO HER ROOM SHE WASN'T THERE! KAZUMA WHAT DO WE DO SHE COULD BE LOST OR WORSE!?" Aqua yelled grabbing my shirt. _She actually sat in her room for an hour? Jeez she's an airhead, but atleast she's determined.. Sometimes. Still thinking about Aqua innocently sitting in her room is pretty cute._

"She's probably with Darkness at the guild or something. There's no need to worry."

"BUT DARKNESS IS ASLEEP! SHE MUST BE ALL ALONE SCARED AND CRYING OHH OUR POOR MEGUMIN!"

 _Damn this can't be good. She's probably fine, but what trouble could she get herself into all alone? She's smart she couldn't have done something too reckless. Right?Although I wonder why Darkness is asleep this early.. Ah jeez._

"The first place we should head is the guild, she's probably there eating." I said with my hand on my chin. That's probably where she'd be considering none of us have eaten dinner.

"GOOD THINKING KAZUMA! LET'S HEAD OUT!" Aqua exclaimed, throwing her fist up."We could also get something to eat while we're there, right Kazuma?"

"Yeah, sure. We can't stay for too long though, I know you'll get drunk and rack up a hefty bill if we stay."

Aqua puffed out her cheeks "Hmph.. that's alright I guess, but can I have one drink? Pleeease."

"Sounds good." I said as I grabbed my equipment and coin pouch. Sometimes it really does feel like I'm there babysitter. _Well at the very least this isn't gonna be a boring night after all!_ I thought as I locked the doors.

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A/N: Welp what a grand way to start off this fanfic. I'll do my best to update this story and try not to burn myself out. This should be fun!

Look forward to the next chapter sometime this week or the next.


	2. God's Blessing on this Wonderful Wedding

**Disclaimer: Will reference some light novel stuff.**

This project is manly so I can practice writing and show my love for Konosuba.

I would say this is a slice of life but might have some plot and romance.

Other than that there's not much left to say, so hopefully you all enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 2: God's Blessing on this Wonderful Wedding?**

"AND THEN I COVERED HER IN FROG GOO!" Megumin yelled from the top of one of the many tables in the guild. Everyone in the guild surrounded her listening to her babble on, some older men seated a bit too close for my liking. Her face had a light blush on it and she seemed to have trouble standing.

"What's going on here?" I asked placing my hand on a blonde adventurer's shoulder.

"Oh Kazuma, Megumin's just telling us some stories." He replied

"Is she drunk?"

"Yep."

I took a deep breath. _Goddammit I knew she was up to no good._

"Do you know how many drinks she's had?" I said with my arms crossed as she continued to slowly lose her balance.

"No idea, you'd have to ask her."

"Alright thanks." I handed him a ticket and then he wandered off murmuring something about a maid. I'm not too sure it was too loud in the guild for me to hear.

Aqua had ran off somewhere, probably to order some food, so I decided to deal with the crimson demon.

"Oi, Megumin. Get down from there." I said sticking an hand out for her. Getting closer to her made it even more obvious that she had a drink or two.

"Ooii KaZuMa! Hows are you doin?" She chimed as she grabbed my hand and got down from the table. She was barely able to stand let alone walk. "OOII EVERYONE THIS IS THE LOLICON I WAS TELLIN YOU GUYS ABOUT! EWERYONE SAY 'HI KAZUMA'"

... _LOLICON! WHAT THE HELL IS SHE SAYING!_

Before I could shut her up she blurted out one last thing..

"DONT BE WATE TO OUR WEDDING OKAY?!"

 _WEDDING?!_ I covered her mouth with one hand and waved away with the other. "HAhA Megumin you're reALLY funny, good one. Alright everyone show's over, enjoy your night!"

I dragged her away to a table and sat her down. She waivered a bit but she was able to stay in her seat.

"Megumin. How many drinks did you have?" I asked staring her down.

"Uhhh maybe three mayybe fiibe i dont weally remeber."

"Three drinks of…"

"The clear watery looking stuff"

 _Vodka… shit she's gonna be like this for a while_

"OKAY, Now we're gonna eat a little bit before we go and bring you back home. So you sit tight." I had lost Aqua once we got in the guild and it's been a while she should be back by now. Maybe she's sitting at another table.

As I got up to look for her, Megumin weakly grabbed my shirt.

"WAit babe we gottsto plan our wedding."

For a second I considered trying to get some info on what Megumin really thinks and wants, since she's drunk maybe I can snag some truth. _No that would be abusive. I can't. I shouldn't._

 _Besides I'm not a lolicon…_

"And we've got to have a HUUUGE CHocolate fountain, too"

"Hmm hmm go on." I said, as i wrote notes on a slip of paper.

"Oooh and goat we so- OH AQUA hEY!" Megumin said. Aqua was carrying tons of food back to the table.

"Hi Megumin! Kazuma! I brought food!" Aqua exclaimed placing about 10 plates on the table, each filled with food. _GODDAMMIT AQUA!_

"AQUA WHY'D YOU BUY THIS MUCH FOOD!" I yelled pinching her cheeks. _THIS USELESS GODDESS! I DIDN'T BRING ENOUGH MONEY FOR THIS!_

"I'M SORRY KAZUMA! I WAS JUST SO HUNGRY AND EVERYTHING LOOKED SOO GOOD! AAH IM SORRY PLEASE KAZUMA!"

 _THESE TWO GIRLS!_

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A/N: OOOOOOH JEez that was longer than I expected. Hope everyone can enjoy this, cause i sure enjoyed making it! New Chapter will probably be out sometime this week maybe the weekend I have no idea it depends. Anywho until next time, BYE!


	3. God's Blessing on this Wonderful Drunk!

**Disclaimer: Will reference some light novel stuff.**

This project is manly so I can practice writing and show my love for Konosuba.

I would say this is a slice of life but might have some plot and romance.

Other than that there's not much left to say, so hopefully you all enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 3: God's Blessing on this Wonderful Drunk!**

25000 Eris worth of food.. This Goddess really is trying to keep me in debt or something.

After finishing all the food, we left with the guild. I carried Megumin on my shoulders since she just so happened to pass out before we left. As we were walking down the dimly lit streets of Axel, Aqua spoke up.

"I'm sorry Kazuma" she whimpered, her head low.

"What for?"

"I may have gone overboard with the food. I was just really hungry…"

"Oh that? It's fine really, we ordered enough to last us till tomorrow. And you didn't run me into debt so that's a plus." She didn't seem satisfied with my answer so I placed a hand on her shoulder. "Oi don't look so down, I forgive you."

"Thanks, now get your hand off me you perverted NEET." _This bitch! I care about her for a second and she says that! Ugh_

"Don't call me that, you useless goddess!" I said pulling my hand from her shoulder.

Aqua giggled.. _HUH? Where the hell did that come from?_ "Oi! WHat are you laughing at!?"

"It's just that our constant arguing is a bit funny, don't you think? We're like an old couple!"

She said, holding back her laughter. "Also the face you make whenever you're angry or confused is the best! THAT ONE! THE FACE YOU'RE MAKING RIGHT NOW!" She couldn't stop laughing.

"HEY YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE FUN OF ME YOU AIRHEAD! STOP LAUGHING YOU WORTHLESS GODDESS!" My face was red as hell, I knew about how dumb I looked sometimes but hoped nobody would really point it out. Everything she said was true. I thought I even heard Megumin laugh at me. No actually I swear I heard her laugh.

"Megumin.. Are you really passed out?" _no answer… no she's definitely faking it._ I poked her face a bit. I don't exactly know if she's ticklish or not so I tried tickling her. She moved little and I think I saw a smile.. So I dropped her.

"OWW! KAZUMA!" Yep I knew it.

"Megumin. I only have one question. Why?"

"Well I- uh i really don't know i just didn't feel like i could walk so i thought you'd carry me."

 _Really? That's all._

"Well if you didn't feel like you could walk straight on your own I could've held you hand or something." _I would have been fine carrying her too but if she could stand it would take some pain off my back._

"Yeah that sounds uh good." She murmured reaching for my hand. She missed the first time but got it the second time.

"I've got your other hand, okay? Just to make sure you don't slip." Aqua said grabbing Megumin's hand.

"Oh Uh Yeah thanks."

So we all walked through Axel, hand-in-hand.

Once we arrived at the mansion we all went to the living room. Aqua placed some left overs in our refrigerator, made by Vanir of course. Megumin was a bit light headed and decided to go to her room and sleep. It was pretty late so I decided to turn in, too. Before that Aqua begged me to read her a bedtime story, as I sort of predicted earlier.. Maybe my secret power in this new world is future vision?

* * *

A/N: And with that the first "arc" is over. This wasn't very planned out if I'm being honest, future chapters might have more cohesiveness and focus. These chapters weren't exactly edited too much either. Basically this is what i first typed. They might also be a bit longer but that depends. Next chapter is gonna be cutesy i think, i haven't decided yet. Anywho catch you all next time!


	4. God's Blessing on this Wonderful Bed!

**Disclaimer: Will reference some light novel stuff.**

This project is manly so I can practice writing and show my love for Konosuba.

I would say this is a slice of life but might have some plot and romance.

Other than that there's not much left to say, so hopefully you all enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 4: God's Blessing on this Wonderful Bed!**

It was pitch black out when I heard a light knock at my door.

"Who is it?"

"M-Megumin. Can I come in?" _Megumin?! Why is she awake at this hour? She's probably hungover or something._

"Sure, come on in." Megumin gently opened and closed the door. "What do you need?" I asked her rubbing my eyes.

"I kinda just woke up. I threw up on the floor in my room and decided to come here."

"Well what do you want from me?"

"I just wanted to sleep with you." _My dreams of living in another world has finally come true. I was hoping I'd have girls all over me the minute I set foot in this world, but better late than never._ "Oi, get your head out of the gutters you know what I meant." _Shit she must have telepathic powers or something._

"If that's all you wanted, sure I'll allow it. Just don't say a word about this to anyone, got that?"

"My lips are sealed." Megumin said as she climbed into bed next to me. _This'll suffice for now, I suppose._

Being close to each other and all both our faces were growing red. _Years of being a shut in really haven't prepared my heart for this, have they?_ We were facing away from each other at the moment, as to avoid making this situation anymore awkward.

"Can we talk?" Megumin asked poking my back.

"Uhmm sure, what do you have on your mind?" I asked still facing away from her.

"You know it's quite rude to not face someone when you're speaking to them, right? I know you're a shut-in so you may not have much social experience." _Jeez she really doesn't have such a great image of me, now does she?_ So I caved and faced her face to face. My bed's not exactly a king sized bed or anything, so our faces were mere inches apart. _My heart really can't handle this situation, I might die here._

"So.. what's on your mind?"

"I wanted to thank you for taking care of me when I got drunk. I would also like to apologize for getting drunk." Megumin whispered. _I never did ask her about how or why she got drunk… but I don't want to put her through a guilt trip or anything_. _Besides I have a pretty good idea as to how she pulled it off. Putting Darkness to sleep, then sneaking off to the guild._

"Well it's one of the perks to having teammates. We watch each others backs and take care of each other in times of need. And don't worry about what you did, it's fine."

"I guess you're right.. I don't think I thank you enough though.. For letting me join you team."

"I should be the one thanking you. You're the main reason this team gets any quests done!"

"You idiot." She giggled,"Can you just let me thank you and accept it. You don't have to try and return the favor. Right now I just want to appreciate everything you've done for me and thank you."

"Oh I'm uh-" Megumin wrapped her arms around me as I was about to apologize. _Damn I really don't have a clue on what do in a situation like this._

"It's okay Kazuma, you don't have to say a word." Megumin said as she placed her head on my chest. "Just calm down, your heart's about to jump out of your chest." At that moment being so close to her, I realized something. _Wait her breath doesn't smell like she threw up.. So that means she made that up as an excuse!_ As I began to calm down and my eyes became heavy something else came to mind.

 _WAIT THIS ISN'T RIGHT IF SOMEBODY SEES THIS I'M GONNA BE LABELED AS A LOLICON FOREVER!_

 _Actually thinking more about that it doesn't seem like to bad of an idea… oh shit_

After the initial panic, Megumin's embrace brought me a lot of peace. It felt nice. Tonight I truly felt appreciated. I decided to return the embrace as my eyes slowly became heavy.

This truly is a wonderful world.

* * *

A/N: This was mainly to add a little more zest to my fanfic. Hopefully everyone enjoyed. Next chapter should be out sometime this week and will include some actual story and plot maybe. Also chapter will probably stay around 700 to 1000 words long. I want to make my fanfic an easy read cause I know that a 4000 word long fanfic can drag on sometimes. So I'll keep it short and sweet for now. Till next time!


	5. God's Blessing on this Wonderful Blade!

**Disclaimer: Will reference some light novel stuff.**

This project is manly so I can practice writing and show my love for Konosuba.

I would say this is a slice of life but might have some plot and romance.

Other than that there's not much left to say, so hopefully you all enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 5: God's Blessing on this Wonderful Blade!**

It was a bit dark in my room. The sun still hadn't come up. I woke up before Megumin and kind of stared at her. She must've been having a really nice dream, she was smiling. After about 5 minutes I deciding I'd pick her up and carry her to her room. I had no idea if she was a heavy or light sleeper so this could prove to be a challenge.

I picked her up as gently as I could and stood there for a second, hoping she hadn't woken up.

 _I guess she's a heavy sleeper._ I carried out the door and to her room. I placed her down as gently as I could and stood over her, being sure she wasn't awake. Once I was sure she was asleep I left her room and decided to sit in my room until the others woke up.

I sat on my bed, with my legs crossed, and thought about my plans for today.

 _Okay so I've been saving up skill points for a while now. Today I think I'm gonna put them to use. Now.. what new skill do I want to learn.. Well let's see I want a new offensive ability, since snipe doesn't cut it sometimes and pulling out a bow in close combat is a death wish. Now Wiz, and Megumin both have great offense but that takes up a lot of mana.. Ah I know!_

"I'M HEADING OUT NOW EVERYONE! I'LL BE BACK BY LUNCH!" I yelled as I opened the door to the mansion. We had just finished eating breakfast, so I was heading out on my own to find YunYun. She hasn't come by in a while so maybe she's staying somewhere in Axel. I searched each hotel and motel in Axel asking if they had seen a young girl with black hair, red eyes and a rather revealing outfit but nothing. _Don't tell me she went back home! If I weren't the richest where would I be… HAH!_

I knocked on the sliding door to the 3rd stable on the right. "Who is it?" _The barn. I should've known she'd be here._

"It's Kazuma." I said as she slid the door open.

"Kazuma! Did Megumin send you here to invite me to battle her?" She asked leaning against the wall.

"I'm doing fine thank you for asking. And No Megumin didn't send me. I just need a favor." _Man she is obsessed with Megumin, isn't she?_

"A favor?"

"I need you to teach me some magic!"

After she had agreed to help me out we made our way to a lake outside of Axel. There were some rather large rocks scattered along the river.

"Okay! So I'll teach you on one condition!"

 _A condition. Lemme guess.._

"You have to get my rival, Megumin, out here to face me!"

 _Predictable_

"Yeah I can do that for you. Now, let's get to it. What do you got?"

"Well I specialize in what's known as electrical magic. I'll teach you a basic electric based attack that's good for beginners and requires little mana. It's also super effective for killing. Here. All you have to do is stick your arm towards the ground grab your wrist and focus.." She stood there focusing for a second. Electricity began flowing through her hand. "There! It's called _Lightning Blade_!" _I feel like I've heard that before. It even looks familiar._

"Now that's an attack I can get behind. But how powerful is it?"

"Here let me show you." YunYun replied as she dashed towards one of the boulders. She then punched the rock causing it to explode.

"I'm sold." I said pulling out my registration card and applied _lightning blade_ to it. "Okay here I go!" I formed the stance and focused.. _Lightning Blade!_ My hand was engulfed by a ball of electricity. I began to run towards one of the boulders.

"WAIT!"

It was too late. I had already slammed my hand into the rock. Turns out _Lightning blade_ is one of those attacks that needs to be leveled up..

"You know YunYun you could have told me that earlier." I complained as she wrapped my hand in bandages.

"I'm soo sorry. My incompetence got you hurt, but our deal is still good, right?"

"Yeah.. it is." YunYun really is hopeless.

After she finished wrapping up my hand I ended up dumping all 20 of my skill points, that I had been stockpiling for about a month, into _lightning blade._ I got it to _Lightning Blade IV._ Max is _Lightning Blade L (lvl 50)_

As I was walking her back home we passed by the guild. "Oi, YunYun wanna grab a bite? My treat for you teaching me."

"Yes I would love to."

We entered the guild and ordered some food. After ordering I caught a glimpse of Aqua, Darkness and Megumin looking at the quest board. _Oi are the looking for a quest without me!? They could get themselves killed._ YunYun must have seen them too. She ran towards Megumin and started chatting it up with her. I decided to get up and join them.

"Oh it's Kazuma. Trying to seduce the future leader of the Crimson Magic Village, eh? Kazuma?'

Megumin teased.

"What in the world would give you that idea?"

"Meeting with her alone, inviting her to eat with you. You probably even invited to walk her home. Kazuma you aren't exactly being subtle." _Or maybe she's reading to much into it. Can't I just be nice without having ulterior motives?_

"More importantly what are you three doing here? Going on a quest without me?" I asked trying to drop the subject at hand.

"I wanted to go on a quest." Darkness said, stepping forward. "Are you going to viciously berate me now for doing this? Or punish me physically?" Darkness' breathing became heavy as she spoke. _Why does she have to be like this?_

"I'm not going to be doing any of that. So what quest do you all have in mind?"

"OOOOH THIS ONE KAZUMA!" Aqua exclaimed shoving a flyer in my face.

"AGH OKAY" I grabbed the flyer and read of the quest. "An obelisk has gone out on an important trade route between Axel and the Kingdom of Belzerg. Objective: Defend repair workers from monsters. Time: One full day. Reward: 1,000,000 Eris…" _A full day for 1 million Eris…_

"So? What do you think? It's perfect, right?" Aqua proclaimed

"Yeah this is fine. With my new skill this'll be a breeze."

"New skill?" Darkness and Megumin said in Unison.

"You'll have to wait 'till tomorrow to see it in action! For now we'll head home and get ready for the quest."

"If it isn't too much to ask, could I join you on your quest?" YunYun asked lightly tugging on my shirt

"Eh- Uh Yeah that's fiiine." I mean how could I say no. I know how it is to live in the barns so letting her help is a good idea. She gets money and we have to put less effort in. It's a win-win!

After finishing all our food I decided I would walk YunYun home while the others went back to the Mansion to prepare for the mission. _Megumin had a point. Leader of the Crimson Demons isn't too bad of a title._

"Alright YunYun, remember to meet up with us at the guild tomorrow. Alright?"

"Yep you got it." She said with her hands behind her back."Oh yeah one more thing I need to tell you.."

"And that is?"

She leaned forward and whispered into my ears "Marriageable age" before shutting the sliding door to her room. _Sometimes I forget that in this world people usually don't live past 40 years old so having kids is important._

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A/N: Alright this is the longest chapter to date and I'm so proud of the work I've done so far. I would like to thank everyone who's continued to read up until this point. Next chapter will be out soon and will be entitled **God's Blessing on this Wonderful Road!**


	6. God's Blessing on this Wonderful Road!

**This chapter was written when I was running on like 2 hours of sleep for about 15 hours help.**

 **(After posting this I realize there were a few spelling mistakes and some scenes were pretty fucked. I fixed every mistake I could find so hopefully everything makes sense.)**

 **Chapter 6: God's Blessing on this Wonderful Road!**

So after another night session with Megumin, I got up and began to get ready for the quest.

I began to make breakfast in the kitchen. The sun had only just begun to break through the horizon when Darkness woke up. She seemed like she had something on her mind, but didn't say anything.

"Morning, Darkness. Did you sleep well?" I decided it be best that I be a bit nicer to Darkness. I'm usually picking on her and she gets off to that. So I've wondered what would happen if I'm a bit nicer. I mean she is my teammate after all.

"Yeah I slept well. Although I didn't get as much sleep as I would like." _Maybe she was thinking about something last night.._

"It's good to hear that you got some rest. We've got a big day ahead of us."

"We do indeed."She said as she grabbed some plates to set the table. _She acts a bit more formal when I'm not rude… I kinda like it_

As I was about to continue Aqua had also woken up, walking into the kitchen in pajamas.

"Mornin' Kazumaaa" She yawned as she laid down on the couch. _I would complain that she's being useless but it's too early for that. I don't think she could help right now anyway._

"Morning Aqua. Looks like you got a grand total of 2 hours of sleep. Were you scared of the dark?"

"I'm a Goddess, nothing scares me you NEET." She replied as she stretched. _Good thing she reminded me that she's a Goddess. I almost forgot._

"Aqua when are you going to teach me your healing magic so I can kick you from the party?"

"Oi, don't you dare."

"Aqua don't test me."

"You…" I could feel her gaze trying to pierce me. She really thinks I would kick her. If I did that then who would I bully? Darkness? No she would enjoy it. At the moment Darkness seemed to be getting a real kick out of our bickering. I assume she self-inserts herself as Aqua.

"Good morning everyone." Megumin faintly said as she walked in holding Chomusuke.

"Morning!" I said as Megumin rubbed Chomusuke against my face. I wish I knew why. I don't question it though cause I kinda like it.

After eating breakfast, we grabbed our equipment and began walking over to the guild.

"So, Kazuma, do you have a plan on what we're gonna do?" Darkness asked

"Well I've got something planned, so don't worry about that. We'll cross that bridge when we get there." _In reality I really didn't have a plan, since I don't know what could show up during our quest._

"I hope we meet some strong monsters. I can already imagine them, ripping of my clothes and having their way with me." I swear I heard her squeal.

"Yeah strong monsters would be nice, a lot of them. Then I could unleash my explosion on them! OOoo this is gonna be fun!" _Why are they like this? I'd rather not die to some overleveled monster._

Aqua was ahead of us, gleefully skipping without a care in the world about the quest. I suppose ignorance truly is bliss. _Sometimes I wish I could be a little bit more like her._

We arrived at the guild a little late so YunYun had already arrived. The minute she caught sight of us she rean towards me and threw herself at me. "KAZUMA!" She yelled as she nearly decked me. _What the hell is wrong with her? This can't be good. No way. Somethings up._

"Oi let go of me! You're gonna crush my ribs." I pleaded, grabbing her arms and attempting to force them away. _Jeez for someone of her size she really is strong!_

After letting go she continued to greet everyone else whilst sticking close to me. _There's no point in asking about what she's scheming now. I should just keep a close eye on her._

"Alright let's go accept that quest before somebody else takes it." I said

After accepting the quest we met up with the two repairers on the outskirts of town. They were both rather old, sporting grey hair and long beards. They had already arranged for carriages to bring us as close to our destination as possible. The two workers got their own carriage while the rest of us got another. I sat in between Darkness and Aqua while YunYun and Megumin sat across from us. Our coachman was a young blonde boy, maybe a few years older than me. He wore a tiny hat and a vest.

"You guys ready?" He asked

"Yep everything good back here!" I replied.

For the first quarter of the ride nobody had said anything. It was a bit tense, nobody really having much to say. Aqua seemed to be enjoying the ride, gazing out the back end of the carriage at the forest surrounding us. Darkness would always look away from me whenever I turned to look at her. She seemed to be embarrassed. Megumin and YunYun have been strangely silent. I suppose they're just enjoying the ride. I needed to talk to somebody. Anybody. This was too awkward.

"Oi, Darkness. How are you doing?" I asked. She stiffly turned towards me. She was blushing..

"Oh me? I'm doing great actually. Why do you ask?"

"Oh I was just wondering. I'm glad to hear you're doing well! We'll need everyone at their best today!" She has something on her mind, but I won't pry. My reply seemed to have comforted her. Her shoulders relaxed and she faintly smiled at me. I smiled back. Maybe she isn't so hopeless after all. Hopefully she isn't. Hopefully.

"Kazuma. You and Darkness seem to be getting along a lot better than usual. Are you okay? Here lemme see your forehead. Maybe you have a fever." Megumin said placing her hand on my forehead."Yep definitely a fever." I slapped her hand

"What's so wrong with being nice? I'm just trying to boost our morale!"

"Kazuma. You're not exactly known for being nice. Remember your nicknames?" Aqua chimed in.

"Oi don't you dare!"

" H~" Aqua and Megumin sang in unison. _These bastards! Teaming up on me like this!_

As I was about to go off on them Darkness intervened.

"I agree that Kazuma is trash, but he's still a good guy at heart." _I don't know if I should be flattered or enraged by that comment. "_ Admit it. He's the reason we're all together. Without him we would be missing out on all of the experiences we've shared."

"I guess you're right. He may be trash but he's our trash!" Megumin cheered

"YEAH! WE LOVE OUR KAZUTRASH!" Aqua yelled nearly falling out of the carriage. _Well at least they care about me._

Once the carriage had taken us as far as it could we got off, met up with the workers and began making our way to the obelisk. The road there was pretty run down, filled with weeds and grass.

Aqua even tripped a few times. Arriving at the obelisk, we set our things down and I told Darkness to secure the area. She walked around and came back telling me everything was good. The workers never said a word to us and just go to work. _Guess they just want to get this job over with as fast as possible._

"Oi Darkness help me get some logs and stuff so we can sit on them. Megumin look for some tinder so we can start a fire. Aqua… uh you can relax. You too YunYun." I said as I carried a log I had found to where the others were.

"Jeez look at Kazuma taking charge! Good for you!" Aqua said giving me a thumbs up. _I really can't tell if she's messing with me or not. "_ And finally, telling me to relax! You're starting to treat me like the Goddess I am!" _no.. she's being serious._

So Darkness and I carried about 3 logs and placed them in a circle. Sticks and leaves were placed in the middle. I lit them on fire using _tinder!_ The idea was for the smoke to be a marker for where we'd meet up.

"Okay so Aqua ,Megumin, and YunYun will stay at the camp incase any monsters try and attack the workers. Darkness and I will set out to survey the area and make sure there's nothing to big nearby. Got that?" I said as we all sat around in a circle.

"Could I join you on, Kazuma?" Megumin asked

"ME TOO CAN I COME!?" YunYun exclaimed the second Megumin asked.

"Absolutely not. You guys are to stay here incase a hoard of monsters appear. Aqua will also stay to buff your strength if needed."

"THEN WHY IS DARKNESS JOINING YOU! DON'T TELL ME YOU PLAN ON DOING SOMETHING TO HER!" Megumin exclaimed jumping up and point at me.

"I WOULD NEVER! She's just there incase something does show up she can take some hits for me! I bet she would enjoy that actually." I protested. I could sense Darkness' breathing becoming shallow at the thought of it all.

"That's a good excuse, Kazuma. But I see the way you look at her! I swear I even hear you utter her name in your sleep. You're like 'Darkness please! We can't do thi-'" I covered her mouth before she could say another word.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH! DARKNESS LET'S GO!" I said as I forcefully grabbed Darkness' wrist. _Did she just moan!? Dear god she's hopeless._ I dragged Darkness off into the forest as the Megumin began to say something to the others.

The forest was pretty dense, with trunks sticking out from the ground, clumps of moss on the trees and leaves covering the floor. We just walked straight in one direction for a bit. We eventually reached a clearing that had a river running through it. _This is far enough I suppose._

I turned to Darkness.

"Okay. Darkness is there something you'd like to tell me?" She had something on her mind for a while now, she wasn't very good at hiding it. She seemed surprised at first, but then looked down at her feet.

"How could you tell? Was it really that obvious?"

"I would say so. Now don't worry you can tell me whatever's on your mind. Go on." I said sitting down beside the river, my legs crossed. She sat down next to me her knees to your chest and sighed.

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A/N: So I'm just gonna leave this off right here. The chapters are only getting longer and hopefully they get better as well. So next chapter should be a wacky one. I'm very tired now so hopefully everyone enjoys.


	7. An Unexpected Occurrence!

**A/N: This story has been doing shockingly well and I'm overjoyed to be uploading another chapter. I really have grown attached to this story so I hope you all enjoy this as much as I do.**

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 **Chapter 7: An Unexpected Occurrence!**

"I… I just don't know. When I joined your party, I did so under the impression that you were scum. I had heard rumors that you shamed two girls in public by making them walk around, covered in slime." She gently said "But after being around you I began to realize you were more than a pervert. You were a dependable friend who genuinely cares about his friends, even if they do act up sometimes. You always come to lecture me and the others whenever something goes wrong. You may not show it too often but you do care about all of us."

 _What the hell is this pain? As she spoke something hurt.._

"Well what I'm trying to say is that you're wonderful. I also really like you.. I like you a lot." She whispered, her face getting closer to mine as she spoke.

 _It's getting worse.._

"No.. I love you Kazuma. I really do." _Damn what the hell!? This is really cliche but I like it! God I'm a becoming a generic protagonist!_ Darkness suddenly grabbed both my hands and fell to the ground laying me on top of her, her face mere inches away from mine. _WHAT!?_

"SO HAVE PLEASE! HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME!" _SHE'S LOST IT! I'M A FOOL FOR THINKING THIS WOULD GO SMOOTHLY! A FOOL!_

"DARKNESS WHAT YOU'RE HOPELESS!" I yelled. She then wrapped my arms around my waist, pinning me to her. _DAMN! I CAN'T GET AWAY! Wait.. my hands are free!_

"DRAIN TOUCH!" I yelled as I drained her health. She moaned. _Oh yeah i forgot. Welp there's no way i can get out before she breaks one of my bones so maybe I should just cooperate…_

"Darkness why are you doing this? You know with a body like yours if you had asked nicely I would have gladly agreed." I said with a straight face

"Eh?! Well I it's because I lied to my father telling him I'm pregnant with your child so I didn't want to disappoint him. I know it's stupid but I didn't want to lie to him. I thought.. Well you know." She blushingly admitted. _Darkness is the definition of hopeless._

As she said that an explosion erupted from the direction of the camp. It wasn't a Megumin sized explosion. _GODDAMN AT A MOMENT LIKE THIS! HOW CLICHE!_

"WE'LL HAVE TO CONTINUE THIS SOME OTHER TIME!" I said. She let me go and we both got up and ran over in the direction of the explosion. The ground trembled. Another explosion. _DAMN! What the hell is going on._

When we arrived we saw a man in a suit and top hat.

"AH more friends! A pleasure to meet you!" He said. His voice was high pitched but he looked to be in his late 20's. He had a thick black beard that didn't match his rather small beard. His eyes creeped me out, too. We ran over to the others and stood in front of them. YunYun was bleeding out her left and right arm. It didn't look life threatening. Megumin was fine, but looked a bit frightened. Aqua was also seemed fine. She had cast buff on all of us once we arrived.

"Fill me in." I said sternly. The man in the top hat stood there, as if he was assessing the new situation.

"This guy showed up out of nowhere and attacked us. He hasn't made a move on the workers yet, just us." Megumin said. _So he hasn't moved towards the workers. Then what does he want._

"Ah yes. I hadn't told you my plan. Well I plan on taking one, if not all, of you women with me."  
 _Ah he's a perv._ All the girls were shaken by this statement. Even Darkness. "Now then let's get back to it, shall we?" he said pointing his hand towards us. Then a green gust of wind darted towards us hitting all of us. We were all blown back a few feet. _Damn he's got aoe attacks.._

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE SPREAD OUT!" I ordered. The man didn't move at all and simply stood still as we encircled him. He smirked as I ran towards him. " _LIGHTNING BLADE!"_ I yelled as jumped into the air to jab him. He still hasn't moved. I reached out and missed. _Huh?!_ He dodged it.

"Up" He smirked. I caught a glimpse of knives falling from the sky. _SHIT!_

"AQUA!" I yelled. She then blasted some of the knives away with _create water._ Two had grazed my right and left arm. I then darted back to create some space. He lunged forward at me with a knife in his right hand. My right hand still had _lightning blade_ so I swung and missed. He had darted back to his original position. _I know. He must be using teleport!_ He teleported towards me with a grin on his grazed my left cheek with his knife, before I swung again with _lightning blade._ He teleported back and seemed a bit tired. _There must be a limit to using it so much._ I made some more space in between us until I was next to Darkness.

"Move in ahead of me. I'll move in and make my move. Just don't get caught or he might try to teleport away with you." I whispered. She shook her head. "YUNYUN!" I yelled as Darkness and I ran forward. _A pincer attack!_ As I ran I activated _lightning blade!_

"That old trick? Really?" He sighed. _He's gonna use teleport to evade our attacks I just have to predict where he'll teleport to._ _I KNOW!_

" _MEGUMIN! DUCK!"_ I yelled as he teleported. Sure enough he teleported next to Megumin and seemed to have missed grabbing her.

 _OF COURSE HE'S A LOLICON!_

Megumin then swept him off his feet and darted back. He fell to the ground and as he got up I ran and jabbed him with _lightning blade. HIT!_ My hand was now lodged in his chest. It went straight through him. _I… just killed him. This move is no joke._ He spat blood up and then his head hunched forward. We disposed of his body in the forest. _Damn I really just killed somebody._ I thought as I looked at my hand. Even though it was to defend my friends I still felt.. Awful. _I suppose I shouldn't use this move unless completely necessary. I don't like the idea of getting my hand lodged in a body._ After everything we sat around the fire and watched the workers to make sure they were safe. I was staring at the fire as it slowly began to go out. Then I felt someone wrap their arms around me. It was Megumin.

"What are yo-" She placed a finger over my lips.

"Thank you.. For protecting us." She said her head on my chest. _I guess I did single handedly saved them. I did something heroic for once._ Another pair of arms wrapped around me. It was Aqua. She didn't say anything but she looked like she was holding back tears. YunYun sat on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her face against mine. Darkness hugged me from behind placing her head on my back. I really am a terrible person when the first that comes to mind is ' _Finally I'm being treated like a proper harem protagonist.'_ I wrapped my arms around the three girls in front of me. Although I may be scum I can still appreciate them.

"Thank you. For this" I said. The pain came back from earlier. I smiled.. With the sun beginning to set on this day we all hugged, enjoying each other's company. Truly this is a blessing.

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 **A/N: We've almost hit 1000 total views on my story good lord that's amazing thank you so much!**

 **Anyway I'll continue to update this as much as I can. I want romance but I'm not sure which route I wanna go so this is gonna be fun. You can expect a few laid back chapters before I start another arc like this. I know this was short but I like it that way. Also was torn between Darkness telling Kazuma that she loved him or the other thing so I compromised. So yeah I'll catch you guys next chapter!**


	8. Tension in the Tent!

**Chapter 8: Tension in the Tent!**

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After the attack nothing really happened. We all talked around the fire for a bit before deciding to hit the hay. We had set up 2 tents for all of us. The workers had brought their own. We had decided that one person would stay up watching over everyone incase something were to happen. The person elected was YunYun, considering she was probably the most well rounded when it came to combat, having magic and some martial arts training apparently. Since we had two tents we decided to have 2 people sleep in each tent. I would sleep with Aqua and Darkness with Megumin. The last time we ever slept together was back in the stables _. I think Aqua may need this, she seems really shaken up by what happened today. I'll try not to bring it up to her._ When I walked into the tent Aqua was already laying down. When I layed down she turned the other way, looking away from me. I decided to do the same.

"K-kazuma…" She muttered

"Yes I'm Kazuma. What is it?" I turned to face her and she did the same. We were inches away.

"T-thank you… I never did thank you did I?" She whispered. She looked like she was going to cry. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her. I didn't know how to respond to that so I stayed silent instead returning the embrace.

"You know, I've always viewed you as an older brother. Always scolding me and correcting me. We'd always bicker like siblings, too." She giggled running her hand across my chest. _BROTHER!? Well I do appreciate it but that kinda hurt._ Although I can't help but feel the same. I never really viewed her as some sort of romantic partner, rather I viewed her as a mischievous little sister. At least she acts that way.

"Yeah we act more like family than anything." I said. Her grip tightened a bit.

"But.. after today I really don't know how I feel about you."She whispered her grip tightening a tab more. _Well I guess that's normal.. I guess_. "I was pretty useless during the fight and I didn't even block all the knives." She pressed her head against my chest. I placed my hand on the back of her head and the other on her back. "I was so scared.." She was on the verge of tears..

"It's okay, Aqua. We're all safe now. There's no need to worry at all." She was honestly being uncharacteristically hard on herself. I felt sorry for her. She didn't respond to me. She just hugged me tighter and began to cry. Not loud and annoying like before. This was different. This felt more sincere, more genuine. I really felt for her. As she cried I tried to comfort her as best I could. I honestly don't know what to do in situation like this. So I just gently stroked her hair and continued to hug her. I had the urge to tell her something absurd. That I liked her. Crazy, right? I don't think I liked her like that. I think I just really wanted to protect her. Yeah that's it. I wanted to protect her. She had stopped crying and looked up at me. Our eyes locked. Man you never really notice how pretty somebody's eyes are until you really look at them for a while. The tent was dimly lit by the fire outside and the moonlight.

Aqua's eyes were a brilliant blue, they were soothing. _Ya know I had always been trying to view Aqua as the main heroine, but never really could. But. Now I could see it. Ah shit. I can't. I can't be falling for this useless goddess' trick._

We stared into each other eyes for a few more seconds before she closed them and moved her face closer to mine ever so slowly. _SHIT SHIT SHIT! AGH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! SCREW IT!_ I met her half way or lips locking. I felt a rush of energy. This wasn't like my succubus dreams. This was genuine, with passion. I couldn't think of the repercussions now. This felt… right. _NO! I THIS ISN'T RIGHT!_

Our lips separated, now was the time to decide. Do I throw this under the rug and go to sleep or do I continue. _AAAAGH FUCK IT! JUST ONE MORE TIME!_ I thought as our lips locked again, more passionately than before. She placed her hand on my cheek. _Does this mean we're dating? Oh god what have I done._ Our lips separated again.

 _Okay one last time or YunYun might hear if we get to rowdy. Just one more time._ For the third time our lips locked, my hands on her waist and her arms wrapped around my neck. Even after the third time I still felt a rush everytime our lips touched. Our lips separated again and we just stared deeply into each other's eyes. _I have a feeling that I'm going to regret this._

"Okay Aqua that's enough for tonight. If we get to loud YunYun will hear and this probably won't end well." I whispered. She nodded, kissing me one more time on the cheek.

"Alright. Night Kazuma." She whispered. We fell asleep in each others arms. Hopefully nobody heard any of that. Hopefully.

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 **A/N: AAAAH SORRY THAT THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SHORT! As I wrote this scene I began to realize I had written myself into a corner. This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer and not just the tent scene and welp I gloriously fucked that up. Also really late on the upload cause school gobbled up an entire afternoon. You know I've decided to make this a harem I guess and I have no idea if that's good or bad. Oh well. Stay tuned for more! Another upload should come out this weekend.**


	9. An Adventurer's Urge

**Chapter 9: An Adventurer's Urge!**

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I woke up really early, it was still pitch black out.I could barely make out the pleasant site of Aqua still lightly clinging to me. She was adorable while she slept. I decided it was pretty comfortable as is. So I fell asleep again.

I woke up again. Aqua was already awake this time. It was still dark.

"Hey. Aqua." I said. She seemed surprised, we could barely make each other out. The fire must have gone out or something since there was less light in here.

"Oh hey. Uhmm I've been thinking…"

"Oh really? This is new."

"Come on Kazuma. I'm being serious"

"Oh hey being serious, I'm Kazuma."

"Kazuma. I was thinking about uhm… you know."

"Oh yeah that.. Well what do you think about it? How do you feel?"

"Well I mean I liked it and all. I wouldn't be too mad if we became something. What I'm scared about are others."

"Yep the others. I really hadn't thought about how they would take the news." I took a second to think. "Well I have to agree with you that I really liked last night and I'm not opposed to a relationship, I guess. For now though let's consider what we did last night to be an expression of your appreciation for me saving everyone. Sound good?"

"Sounds great!"

"Let's just take it slowly, as friends."

"Yeah as friends." We exchanged smiles before Aqua hugged me. I returned the hug.

"So how 'bout we get some more sleep?"

"Okay." She said pressing her body against mine.

Aqua had rolled over in her sleep and I was now looking at her back. I got up and went to talk to whoever was on lookout duty. Turns out Yunyun had tried to stay up the entire night since she was still there and the sun had only barely started to rise. Well she _tried_ to stay awake the entire night. She had fallen asleep on the ground with her hand on her stomach. I poked her a few times.

"Oi. Oi. Get up. Wakey wakey." I think she's out cold. _Ya know thinking back it didn't make so much sense for Yunyun to act the way she's been acting lately. How do I put it? I don't know how to describe it but it can't be good_. She has to have some sort of ulterior motive.

After poking her a few more times I decided to just take a seat. The sun was just barely coming over the horizon.

"Mornin' Kazuma." Megumin said getting out of the tent. _Huh._

"Morning. Oi if you don't mind me asking, why are you awake before Darkness?" _Darkness is usually an early riser, so this is a bit… odd._

"Oh she's asleep. I made sure to keep her awake by telling her countless stories. Why?" She said rubbing her eyes.

"Oh no reason. Here, sit." I said patting the log I was sitting on. She stepped over Yunyun's corpse and sat down next to me.

"You know... I'm just as concerned as to why you're awake. I heard noise coming from your tent last night, even though we were directly opposite of each other." She whispered, staring at the fire pit. _SHIT! WERE WE THAT LOUD! OH GOD THAT MEANS.. Oh god this can't be good._

"A-are you sure? I-i mean what did you hear?" _Fuck. My words got caught in my throat._

"Oh I just heard you guys talking for a bit. That's all." _Oh thank god!_

"OH yeah I almost forgot, I also heard you guys" she cleared her throat and whispered in my ear "kissing." _well shit._

"Are you sure you heard kissing? Maybe you were hearing things, cause I fell asleep the moment I got into the tent. You were probably sleep deprived."

"Doubt it. I heard it about half an hour after we had gotten into the tents. She must have done quick work of you."

"First of all, I'm not that easy. Second of all, I was asleep. You were probably hearing things in the dead of night or maybe the fire crackling."

"Maybe but I know I heard you to talking. Maybe even a moan? No. A lot of moaning." _wait.. She's messing with me… hmm_

"Alright. You caught me. I'll be honest Aqua and I… Jeez it was heaven." I nonchalantly stated.

"W-w-w-wait y-you're serious?! No way! I was just kidding! Haha good one Kazuma." She quivered nudging me with her elbow.

"Wait you mean you didn't hear me and Aqua making love. Welp now you know. Gigs up I suppose. Might as well start to arrange the marriage. Ah this is good actually. So if Aqua and I go out by ourselves make sure Darkness doesn't tag along don't want her to know." _Her look in her eyes! Oh it was priceless._

"no no n o NO! I don't believe you! YOU'RE A LIAR! LIAR!" She yelled pointing at me.

"Okay you got me calm down now, don't wanna disturb the others." I said holding up my hands.

 _ **KONOSUBA!**_

"WHAAT!?" I yelled

"Sorry, bud we forgot to get you guys a carriage. Welp that sucks. Listen, once we get back we'll get you guys a carriage. Alright?" One of the workers explained. _You know what this is actually a good opportunity for some adventuring._

"Do you know where this road goes?" I asked

"Uhm Well sure. That road leads right to the capital. Takes about a full day of walking." I gallantly turned around pointing forwards.

"Off to the capital we go!"

 **KONOSUBA!**

"Now why are we going to the capital?! We could just wait for the carriage to pick us up and bring us home. Come on Kazuma, if we run we can catch up to them and ask for a carriage." Aqua complained

"They're way too far away now. We're going to make it to the capital by sunset, okay? Here. Once we get there I can offer you a drink." That seemed to calm her down.

"What do you plan on doing at the capital, hmm, Kazuma?" Megumin asked.

"The Royal family lives there, right? I think I might try to land a political position there. Could make me a lot of money."

"Kazuma you know that I'm right here."

"Yes. I know you're there Darkness. What of it?"

"I'm a noble, Kazuma."

"Oh you are. I usually forget that since you never act like one. Well I guess you're my backup."

"Kazuma, I usually adore your straight man responses but that one just hurt."

"Oh come on, I'm only kidding." I said "You're actually my last ditch effort if all else fails and everyone leaves me."

"Kazuma you're filth and I love you."

"Of course you do."

 **KONOSUBA!**

I was checking my card when I realized something. I had actually gained a level and some skill points after the fight with that man in the top hat. I suppose that killing anything of worth gives a decent amount of exp.

"Oi Aqua. Teach me your healing magic."

"No."

"Okay. Megumi-"

"AH FINALLY! Don't worry Kazu I'll teach you all the ins and outs of explosion magic! YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT!" Megumin said jumping me.

"Nevermind. I'm good. Oi Yunyun how about you?"

"Oh all my other skills require either a higher level or more skill points. Sorry."

"Fair enough"

-an hour later-

"KAzuma! Are we there yet!?"

"No Aqua, it's just a few more hours 'till we get there."

-another hour later-

" A! HOW MUCH LONGER?!"

"A few more hours, Aqua. We're almost there."

-5 minutes later-

"KAAAAAAZUMAAAAAAA!" Aqua yelled clinging to my clothes

"DAMNIT AQUA! You know what I have an idea. I'm ashamed I didn't think of it earlier. Aqua cast some speed buffs on us. We'll get there faster." I said. She cast a slight speed buff.

"Is this it?" Megumin asked

"I'm just slightly faster than usual." Darkness said

"Aqua. What level is this speed buff?"

"Well… it's a level II Speed buff."

"... and what level is Nature's Beauty?"

"...well it's level 50… I maxed it out."

"Of course it is."

 **KONOSUBA!**

We arrived at the capital at sunset and got a hotel to stay at. We again ordered two seperate rooms, this time Yunyun would stay with Aqua and I because she no longer needed to keep watch. When we got to the room there was a queen sized bed and some cabinets. I set aside my mantel and layed on the bed. Aqua laid down next to me and we both released sighs of relief. Yunyun walked up to my side of the bed.

"Scooch over." She said signaling with her hands.

"Eh?!"

"Move over. Kazuma. I want to lay down too." _This is pretty uncharacteristic of her. Being so upfront. Something is definitely off._

I scooched over, now laying in between both Aqua and Yunyun. _Being a harem protagonist may not be all it's cracked up to be, if I'm being honest._ Yunyun had gone and changes into a nightgown while Aqua and I stayed in our usual attire, too lazy to change out of them. Somehow this nightgown was cuter than her usual outfit. Having Yunyun sleep with us kind of killed the mood so Aqua and I didn't say to much to each other. We eventually fell asleep, Yunyun's wrapping legs around mine and one arm thrown over me. _Yup. Somethings up._

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A/N: OKAY! I'm sorry that this took a while to come out. I was torn between two different ways this chapter could have gone. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter another chapter should hopefully come out soon. Also after I complete this project (not anytime soon) I'm going to probably start my own web novel or something. I've always wanted to but have never had the time or skill to do so. So yeah I'll see you soon!


	10. All Tied Up!

**A/N: CHAPTER 10! Yeah by the looks of it this will at least have another 10 and go on for another month. Also THANK YOU for 2.5k views! As long as one person reads I'll continue to pump out chapters!**

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 **Chapter 10: A Challenger Approaches**

I woke up in the middle of the night. A lamp next to the bed was on. I felt somebody laying on me. _Wait are my hands tied. Wait. My clothes. I'm only in underwear._ Yunyun. She was laying on top of me. Of course she was.

"Oi. what is this?"

"Oh uhhh Kazuma, you're awake!"

"You know what Yunyun. I'm going to turn a blind eye to this do as you please. Well actually could you untie me. It's a bit uncomfortable."

"You don't want to know why I'm doing this!? I had a speech ready and everything…"

"Nope don't know and don't care. I swear if you girls just asked I would say yes."

"Well uhh I'm going to tell you anyway. See I had challenged Megumin to see who could gain your love first. I had been trying to copy whatever Megumin had done for while now. Being nice and all. Then I realized it wasn't working so now I'm trying this. I know you're a pervert so I thought trying to seduce you would be the quickest way to get you to love me…I really hadn't thought this through have I..."

"Yunyun don't tell me things I already know. Now that you've said it outloud you've ruined the mood. You know that having sex with me wouldn't have made me fall in love with you, right? I mean sure I've had many a dream of doing so but you're gonna need to do a lot more than that to forever hold my love. Tell me, what do you really think of me?"

"... well you're uhmm… I think you're a sex driven loser."

"You know I can't really say that you're wrong. Now, be a dear and get off me."

"Sure."

 _Did I really just talk Yunyun out of having sex with me…. I'm a fool._

We both sat at the edge of the bed, wearing towels to cover ourselves.

"Yunyun. Let me help you out, since you don't exactly have a lot of experience interacting with others. How about it?"

"Really?! That would help a lot!"

"Okay so first, if you want to gain somebody's affection you should try and hold conversations with them. Kinda like what we're doing right now."

"Ahhh. Well I usually don't have much to say about stuff others talk about."

"Well then you should ask some questions. Ask how they are or what there opinion of something is. Don't just ask questions though, give your own thoughts too." _At least this is what I can gather after living in this world, since my last life was spent as a shut-in._

"Alright. I think I understand. What do I do if a conversation starts to die?"

"Well you don't want to come off as desperate so try your best to ask a few questions but if that fails then abandon ship."

"Ah well thanks Kazuma. I sort of already knew all of that but I just wanted some confirmation. Thanks."

"No problem. Oi where's Aqua?"

"Oh her. I sent her off with some money to a local bar or something. The minute I offered her a drink she was off. Told her I was going to meet up with her later."

"Of course. That goddess can't resist a drink." _That might actually have its perks. "_ Well are you going to leave her hanging?"

"I guess that would be rude, right? Where do you suppose I could find her?"

"Just look for the closest bar."

"Okay. I'll be off then." She said grabbing her clothes and a light coat. She dressed and opened the door. "Thank you, Kazuma. For all the help." She said walking out the door.

 _Welp after ruining what could have been one steamy night, I guess I'll go back to sleep._

 **K-O-N-O-S-U-B-A!**

I had woken up early again. Darkness sure has been slacking lately. Wonder why. Anyway I woke up with the two girls hungover and asleep so I decided to head out and gather some information about the capital. I left a note on the door about that on my door before leaving, in case Megumin or Darkness needed me. Walking through the capital during the day made me realize how nice it really is. Sure, at night it's nice and all; street lights lighting up the roads and the castle enveloped in darkness, moonlight breaking through to create a silhouette. During the day the roads are filled with visitors and merchants, the air filled with laughter and chattering. Felt like the times I went to Tokyo. The capital was alive. I found the capital's guild and walked in. It looked identical to the one in Axel, but at least 5 times bigger. I wasn't here for a quest, I had enough money on me, but I decided to check the quest board anyway. There were a lot of reconnaissance quests.

I began to walk aimlessly in the guild trying to listen in on any conversations. I heard some talk about the king being away fighting the devil king's army. The prince, too. I suppose the queens in charge. Lucky for me I also heard that they have a princess. I was struck with genius.

I'm going to sneak into the castle and win the princess' love.

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 **A/N: Alright! There it is. Hopefully everyone enjoyed this chapter and all. I haven't read the part of the ln where Kazuma goes to the capital (started reading the ln at volume 10 for no reason) so I'm basically writing my own version. Hopefully I don't ruin everything! Also I've noticed a certain fanfic getting a crud ton of hate and it's really upsetting. They should be allowed to write whatever they want without being crucified. Well not much I can do, I suppose. So that it for now, see you all later!**


	11. Master Plan

**Chapter 11: Master Plan!**

* * *

Getting in was a lot easier than I had anticipated. The guards in front weren't really paying to much attention so I used _Lurk_ to sneak past them. Now I was in the dimly lit hallways of the castle. They were spacious, banners and paintings covering the walls. I had remained undetected so far, avoiding paths with people in them using _enemy detection_ and _foresight._ This castle was much too easy to invade. Now to find the princess. Lucky for me the rooms were labeled. I carefully slunk around the corridors, hugging the walls. After about 15 or so minutes I found it. The princess' room. I slowly opened the door and crept in.

She's asleep. Lucky me, that gives me a chance to get into a cool pose. Upon opening the door I realized something.. _Wait.. she's like 12. Meh whatever.._

I decided to stand near lean against the wall. That would look cool enough.

"What do you think you're doing?" a woman with short hair and rather formal attire asked, standing by the door. _SHIT! HOW'D SHE KNOW I WAS HERE?!_

I didn't say a word but made a mad dash for the door, running past her.

"GUARDS! WE HAVE AN INTRUDER!" She yelled as I ran down the hall. A wall of guards in heavy armor appeared in front of me.

" _BIND!"_ I yelled as I ran, throwing my hand in front of me. I caught two guards, making enough room for me to barely get past them. Another wall of guards appeared and the guards behind me began to close in. Each guard carried a sword and shield and heavy-looking armor covering their entire bodies. _If I use steal I'll probably get something of use!_

"STEAL!" I yelled as a bright light enveloped the hall. As it faded I looked what was in my hand. _PANTIES!?_ All the guards pounced me.

-KONOSUBA-

I was being kept in a cell at the police department. Then the woman from earlier walked in and escorted me to a room. The room was small, hosting two small tables and three seats. I took a seat at the table in the middle of the room. The woman sat across from me and behind me at the other table sat a young man with a typewriter. The woman placed the magic lie detector on the table. _Not this thing!_

"What is your name?" Her eyes felt like daggers. She was rather pretty, sporting short blonde hair and a white trench coat. Still those eyes. She hated me.

"Satou Kazuma, and yours?" I said placing my forearm on the table and leaning in a bit.

"Claire. Now, what is your place of birth? Where do you live now?" Her eyes didn't soften.

"Japan, its far away. I live in Axel at the moment."

"Why were you looking at princess Iris like that? Are you an assassin working for the devil king?"

Well, no I don't work for the devil king and I was just admiring the princess."

She glanced at the bell. Nothing.

"So you have no connection to the devil king?"

"Yep."

 _DING_

 _SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT WIZ AND VANIR!_

-KONOSUBA-

Yet again my "lawyers" failed to defend me. Darkness had shown the judge her pendant but he didn't seem impressed, I'm glad she at least tried. _DAMN WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AGAIN!?_

"I hereby sentence Kazuma to death by hanging." The judge said raising his gavel. _Well my harem was nice while it lasted…_

"WAIT!" _huh.._ It was Iris. _HUH_ "I've chosen to pardon Satou Kazuma on the basis that he could help fix problems with the castles security. He was able to infiltrate the castle so he knows its flaws best." _BLESS THIS MERCIFUL PRINCESS! Coming up with such a cliche excuse just so I wouldn't die! GAh I love being a harem protagonist._

-KONOSUBA-

That night we all stayed in the caste, each of us getting separate rooms. Iris was kind enough to allow us to stay as long as we pleased and even allowed us to eat royal foods. After eating dinner Iris wanted me to meet in her room. The others decided to go out and explore the capital. I asked Iris how old she was. She was twelve.

Her room was quite big, big enough to fit a queen sized bed and a reasonably sized table. We sat across from each other and there I realized that Iris, so far, was a model princess. She was kind, beautiful, understanding. She also seemed quite sharp for her age.

"Thank you." She said bowing her head. _Okay I'm lost._

"For what?"

"For going so far to try and meet me. Nobody's ever gone so far for me so I'm thankful." _Ah I see. She's been sheltered from the outside world for so long she's longing for some more friends. Lucky me._

"Ah yes. It's nothing really. I know it must be lonely here, what do you spend most of your time doing here?"

"Well most of my time is spent talking with Claire. She watches over me, teaching me proper etiquette and giving me an education. When I'm not with her I'm usually in the garden tending to the plants, or reading books from the royal library." _Man she really is a model princess._

"Do you ever leave the castle?"

"Yes, when I need to visit other cities or I don't do much on those trips."

"No, I mean do you ever just leave the castle and explore the capital?"

"No. It's not safe to go out there by myself, and I don't want to burden the guards."

"They've really got you locked up in here, huh?"

"I suppose. I don't mind it. I'm well fed and everyone here is nice. Although I do wish I could see my Onee-chan more. That's why I'm training to become stronger so one day I could fight by his side and we could defeat the devil king."

"That's pretty noble. Also, Onee-chan? You mean your brother?"

"Yes, he is out fighting the devil king alongside my father."

"Were you two close?"

"Yes, very. Before he left he would read me stories of grand warriors and heroes. He would make unique voices for each character and even act out some scenes. We would also play together in the garden, games like tag and stuff. We'd also spar using wooden swords. I would always win. He wasn't very strong and was shy at times but he cared about me. I miss him."

"He sounds like a great guy. When did he leave?"

"He left about a year ago, when he turned 16. He said that he'd make quick work of the Devil King and his army. His smile was filled with confidence. After he had gone I had quickly begun to immerse myself in books. It reminded me of him, I could even hear the many voices he made for each character. Claire seemed really concerned about me during those times. She's always like that." She smiled.

"So you plan on joining your brother?"

"Yes, and together we'll defeat the devil king and bring peace to this world."

"Well that's convenient."

"Huh?"

"I plan on doing the same thing! My purpose in this world is to defeat the devil king, so how about we both work towards that goal! When you're out there fighting the devil king I'll be right by your side, what do you think?"

"Well… with that much confidence I can see you have a lot of drive. Sure, we'll defeat him together!"

* * *

 **A/N: OKAY! Now that I'm done with that I would like to say that by the end of this Kazuma will be paired with someone. I won't end it with him being blue balled. That is all.**


	12. A Two Parter?

**UPDATE: IM NOT DEAD!**

I'm currently working on chapter 12 of Konosuba! Branching Paths! but a lot of stuff is going on right now so i haven't had much time to work on it. I've also run out of ideas and need a new way to move the plot in. I'm considering cutting Kazuma's visit to iris short but i haven't exactly decided yet.

If anyone has any scenario's they would like me to put Kazuma and co. in then dm me or write a review.

Anywho here is a short little bit of stuff that i've written to quench your thirst.

Thank you for your time! -BargonDargon

* * *

 **Chapter 12: Practice makes perfect! Part 1!**

I woke up. The sun illuminated the room and I could faintly smell something good. I sat up on my bed and rubbed my eyes.

"Good Morning, Sir." _HUh?_ I jumped back a bit, looking to my left and saw thin old man in a suit and tie next to me. He had a puffy white mustache and grey hair with bandages covering his face.

"Sir?! Who the hell are you?"

"I am your personal butler, sir. I was ordered by the princess herself to obey you. _Although I don't see whatever she sees in you..._ Well what would you to do first, sir?" _Wait what did he mutter..._

"Well first I'd like to eat something." I said waving my finger in the air.

"Right away, sir." He said bowing then walking out of the room. _Quite the dutiful butler.._ _I can get used to this.._

After eating an exquisite meal I decided to explore the castle a bit. I remember Iris mentioning a garden maybe I could visit that.

"Oi uhmmm….." _wait I still don't know his name…_ "Oi person, what's your name."

"My name is Leonardo Elron, sir."

"Leonardo.. Alright Leonardo lead me to the garden please!"

"As you wish."

We walked around the vast halls of the castle, passing a few guards and even Claire. She shot a look at me with such disdain. I couldn't help but look away and quicken my pace. Leonardo lead me outside to a vast expanse filled with shrubs all kinds, beautiful flowers and a stone path leading to a huge fountain. The grass seemed unnaturally green, almost neon in color, the water from the flower glistened in the air. To put it simply this place was amazing.

"Good Morning Kazuma." Iris said looking up and smiling. She was to my right kneeling down, trowel in hand as she as she patted some dirt around a flower. She was dressed in a simple white dress and her blonde hair in a ponytail. Suffice to say she was adorable. _No what am I saying I'm no damn lolicon... No definitely not... okay maybe a little..._


End file.
